News
No link between academic performance and giving end-of-year gifts so don't bother
57+ min ago (741+ words) RESEARCH has found there is no correlation between giving teachers expensive end-of-year gifts and academic performance so parents should not waste their money. A five-year study showed that whether teachers are rewarded with chocolates, flavoured gin or nothing at all…...
'Can I use it in the car?': A sadly necessary Q&A for disposable barbecue twats
2+ week, 4+ day ago (441+ words) THE number of blazes caused by disposable barbecues suggests idiots may still need advice on their use. Read this Q&A before you start randomly committing arson. So what’s the problem again? It’s all down to a thing called ‘fire…...
Zoos unveil World Cup-predicting animals
1+ mon, 3+ day ago (586+ words) ZOOKEEPERS have revealed the 412 animals who will successfully predict the results of this year’s World Cup. The animals hope to follow in the footsteps of 2010’s Paul the Octopus in a competition pundits predict will be far more intense and…...
A swimming pool, and other great heatwave items to be lumbered with
1+ mon, 2+ week ago (142+ words) Follow our new Facebook page to get your fix of Mash… PLANNING to buy cool stuff in a fit of enthusiasm for the hot weather? Definitely purchase these items too expensive to get rid of when the weather turns shit…...
Dad adds pizza oven to outdoor cooking wank bank
1+ mon, 3+ week ago (248+ words) Follow our new Facebook page to get your fix of Mash… A MAN who already has a top of the range barbecue is giving a new outdoor cooking appliance the eye while lasciviously licking his lips. 48-year-old Julian Cook, who…...
VR headsets, and other technologies you got bored of after 20 minutes
1+ mon, 3+ week ago (524+ words) Follow our new Facebook page to get your fix of Mash… ONCE it was the next big thing, now you can’t even Freecycle it. Were you one of the visionaries who bought a piece of the future that turned out…...
Microblading, because a girl can never have enough eyebrow, by our TikTok beauty influencer
1+ mon, 3+ week ago (587+ words) Follow our new Facebook page to get your fix of Mash… With Kat Goombs, your Gen X Tiktok beauty influencer booking flights to Slovakia for her Báthory treatment THERE is no such thing, post-Delevigne, as ‘too much eyebrow’. Ideally they…...
I'm part of the toxic Bargain Hunt fandom, and it's f**king great
2+ mon, 3+ week ago (635+ words) Follow our new Facebook page to get your fix of Mash… By Joanna Kramer, online warrior for the very soul of Bargain Hunt OUTSIDERS could never understand how it feels to be in the warm embrace of a thoroughly toxic…...
The six shops inexplicably left in Britain's ghost town shopping centres
3+ mon, 2+ min ago (613+ words) Follow our new Facebook page to get your fix of Mash… BLEAK, dystopian, barely a sign of life, except somehow, in the middle of the emptiness, these shops remain. What are these sinister retail relics? You might think a deprived…...
Wireless Festival offers refunds of similar Nazi value
3+ mon, 6+ day ago (257+ words) Follow our new Facebook page to get your fix of Mash… THE sight of a single takeout pizza van has caused villagers to think their town is now on a par with London, it has emerged. Having grown accustomed to…...